Knee Jerk

20Jun09

Icarus Featherley, who is one of my antagonists at work, tends to be defiant or insolent with me, even when he is in the wrong, or doing wrong. There he was, leaning back in a chair, giving me the benefit of his sarcasm, when the scary, no-nonsense boss materialised in front of my desk. Mr No-Nonsense rarely visits [...]

Filed under: animal references, boss stories, teenagers   |  Closed

Brimstone

11May09

Cyril Brimstone gave me his usual Death Ray glare when he passed my desk today. If Mr Brimstone was a rag doll, an observer might assume that his bushy eyebrows had been tacked onto his face by an enthusiastic kid attending their first ever learn-to-sew class. His eyebrows have an amiable, grandfatherly quality but his [...]

Filed under: boss stories   |  Closed

Toilet Paper

20Apr09

Mr Percival Ratsbane, whose hands are soft as rose petals, wanted some furniture moved in his office. Mr Ratsbane doesn’t do ‘moving furniture’ so Archie McSchlepper, one of the young chaps, was enlisted to help.  Archie knocked over Mr Ratsbane’s cup of tea, which caused Mr R to shout like an inflamed lunatic and (almost) blow steam out of his ears, as well as his arse. Later, Mr Ratsbane asked [...]

Filed under: boss stories   |  Closed

Fall Girl

25Mar09

Eustace Barkin’s client arrived for his 5pm appointment. For reasons known only to himself, Mr Barkin had activated the DND (do-not-disturb) facility on his phone so I couldn’t phone him to let him know about his client. Fifteen minutes passed with the client utilising his valuable time by using his mobile phone to make calls and appointments. When [...]

Filed under: boss stories   |  Closed

Wet Dream

16Mar09

 Mr Archibald Rasputin acted so generously out of character, recently. It was his birthday and for once, he actually stumped up with cakes for the entire office. He usually only eats other people’s cakes. He’d sent a minion to do the donkey work, with money from the petty cash supply. The minion, stout fellow that he is, made sure [...]

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Tin God

11Mar09

Maurie Blight phones in with one of his time-consuming demands, two minutes before my home-time. He often does that. One time, when I was rocketed to the top of his hate list, I observed that he became jocular and friendly with everyone else in the office, while not speaking to me. And the person that he [...]

Filed under: boss stories   |  Closed

Hopping Mad

09Mar09

Mr Raven is on the warpath and giving me the third degree. Infuriated, he informs me that if he was a barrister, he would annihilate me in the witness box. He’s looking for a scapegoat because he (mistakenly) believes someone made a mistake. I pity geese, the ones that are force-fed corn to swell their livers to make Foie Gras. I grow [...]

Filed under: boss stories   |  Closed